Navigating my Middle Passage: From the Pursuit of Money to Meaning By Peter Metzner

 

 

The Dream That Broke My Life Open

From outer success to inner alignment—and the transition into elderhood


The Life That Looked Right

In my 30s, I had the job, the income, and the lifestyle to match. On the surface, it looked like success.

But most of my energy was going toward sustaining something that, inwardly, felt off.


The Dream

Around that time, I had a dream I’ve never forgotten.

I was imprisoned in a desert, surrounded by a brick wall and chain-link fence. A surly guard stood watch. Beyond the wall was a completely different world—lush countryside, rolling hills, alive with possibility.

Over time, I understood: this wasn’t just a dream. It was a mirror.

I had built a life that confined me.


The Realization

Sigmund Freud once said a successful life comes down to two things: to love and to work.

But not just any work—work that is right for you.

So I began asking a different question: What is the right work for me?

Through therapy, reading, and coaching, a pattern emerged. I wasn’t living my values—I was living expectations. What I should be, rather than who I was.

As James Hollis writes, “the task of midlife is to find out who you really are and to claim your life.”


The Shift

When I looked back honestly, the answer had always been there.

I came alive when I was teaching, coaching, training, and helping others grow. These weren’t random moments—they were clues.

The shift that followed wasn’t easy. There were financial uncertainties and real tests.

But something changed. When I aligned with what was true, doors opened. The right people appeared. The path, while not always smooth, became meaningful.


Looking Back at 68

Now, at 68, I see that dream differently.

It wasn’t just a warning—it was an invitation.

Not only to change my work, but to begin a longer journey—one that now unfolds into elderhood.

At this stage, the task deepens. It’s no longer about achievement alone, or even alignment. It’s about integration—distilling what you’ve lived and offering it back in a way that serves others.

The “lush landscape” is no longer beyond the wall.

It’s something you carry.
And something you help others discover.


A Question Worth Sitting With

What part of your life looks like success—but feels like a cage?

 

Dreams as Guiding Lights for Personal Growth

Every night, your psyche sends guidance. Most people ignore it—and stay stuck.

What if the most honest feedback about your life…
wasn’t coming from your boss, your coach, or your data—
but from your dreams?

Would you be willing to listen?

As Jungian analyst Robert A. Johnson wrote:
“Dreams tell us what we need to know—but don’t yet know in waking life.”

What if that were true?


Dreams as a Real-Time Feedback System

Much of what drives our behavior—our reactions, blind spots, and recurring patterns—operates outside of awareness.

And yet… it’s shaping everything.

Dreams act as a natural corrective system.

They bring forward what is unconscious—not as analysis, but as images.
Not as advice, but as experience.

And often, they don’t arrive quietly.

Over time, they don’t just repeat—they evolve.
What Carl Jung described as a self-regulating psyche begins to reveal a larger pattern.

Dreams are not static snapshots.

They are developmental.


A Dream That Called Me Out

Years ago, I dreamed I was trapped.

A desert.
A high wall.
A chain-link fence.
A rigid, watchful guard.

And beyond it?

Green hills. Open space. Life.

At the time, I didn’t fully understand it.

Later, it became unmistakably clear:

I wasn’t being held back.
I was the one maintaining the barrier.

The guard, the wall, the confinement—these were not external forces.
They were parts of me.

That’s the power of dream imagery:

It makes the invisible… visible.


When a Dream Becomes a Turning Point

I once worked with a student who shared a disturbing dream:

She was sitting in the back seat of a car.
The car was filled with cases of beer and liquor bottles.
Her boyfriend was driving.

The car was speeding—out of control—toward a cliff.

She was terrified.

Through tears, she asked:
“Does this mean I’m going to die?”

I told her:
“If it were my dream, I wouldn’t take it literally.
I’d see it as a metaphor—my life is out of control, I’m not in the driver’s seat, and there’s real danger ahead.”

Something landed.

That one conversation changed the trajectory of her life.

She entered therapy.
She joined an AA support group.
She later enrolled in a healthcare program.
Her boyfriend agreed to rehab.

What looked like a frightening dream…
became a course correction.

A life raft she didn’t know she needed.


Dreams Don’t Just Reflect—They Guide

One of the most powerful things I’ve seen—over years of dreamwork—is this:

Dreams don’t just describe where you are.

They show you where you are in a process.

Over time, patterns emerge. A sequence unfolds:

  • Disruption or awakening
  • Testing (often in relationships or identity)
  • Integration
  • Emergence — creativity, leadership, mentoring

When you begin to recognize this, something shifts.

Your dreams stop feeling random…
and start feeling directional.

This is what Carl Jung called individuation—the unfolding of the self.

Dreams don’t just diagnose us.
They develop us.


The Part of You You’d Rather Not Meet

Dreams have a particular gift:

They introduce you to the parts of yourself you’ve avoided.

Jung called this the shadow—the disowned aspects of who we are.

Ignored, they get projected outward.
Engaged, they become a source of energy and growth.

When you begin to work with them:

You become less reactive.
More grounded.
More whole.


How to Start (Tonight)

You don’t need to be an expert.

Just a shift in attention.

1. Decide your dreams matter
Attention alone increases recall.

2. Capture them immediately
Before your phone. Before your day.

3. Stay in the present tense
Keep the experience alive.

4. Ask better questions

  • What part of me is this?
  • What is this asking of me?

5. Watch for patterns
The real power is in the sequence.


Why This Matters Now

We’re living in a time of constant input, noise, and complexity.

More information isn’t solving the problem.

Deeper awareness might.

Dreams offer access to a different kind of intelligence—one that integrates intuition, emotion, and meaning.

When we learn to listen inwardly, we lead outwardly with greater clarity.


An Invitation

Tonight, something in you will speak.

In images.
In emotion.
In story.

It won’t be logical.
But it will be honest.

Most people will ignore it.

You don’t have to.


Reflection (or for the comments):
What’s one dream you’ve had recently that might be pointing to something you’ve been avoiding—or ready to change?

Transforming Reality: The Power of Self-Awareness


We Don’t See People As They Are — We See Them As We Are

How projection quietly shapes our relationships, leadership, and the stories we tell ourselves about others.


Have you ever noticed how two people can experience the exact same situation — and walk away with completely different interpretations?

One sees disrespect. Another sees misunderstanding. One sees threat. Another sees opportunity.

What we often call “reality” is filtered through the beliefs, fears, and expectations we carry inside us. In other words, we rarely see the world exactly as it is — we see it as we are.

More than a century ago, the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung described this phenomenon as projection: the tendency to attribute to others qualities, emotions, or motives that actually originate within ourselves. Projection is normal — but when we remain unaware of it, it can quietly distort our relationships and our understanding of the world.

As Eckhart Tolle writes:

“We not only have our own baggage, we tend to see others and situations through it, projecting our own unreality onto the presumed reality of other people and things.”

When we become aware of what is false or distorted in ourselves, something remarkable happens: the reality of those we relate to begins to change as well. We begin to see people more clearly — and often more compassionately.


The Hidden Operating System

One of the most difficult — and most transformative — steps in personal growth is taking responsibility for how we participate in the realities we experience.

That realization can be painful.

It asks us to consider that the thoughts and emotions we carry may be shaping behaviors that quietly sabotage our relationships, limit our creativity, and prevent us from living the life we want.

Most of us instinctively avoid that pain. Instead, we tell ourselves a simpler story:

Something outside of me is the problem.

It’s the other person.
It’s the circumstances.
It’s what happened to me in the past.

Sometimes those explanations are partly true. But they can also keep us trapped in a loop where we unknowingly recreate the very experiences we are trying to escape.

Many of our deepest beliefs about ourselves were formed early in life. If our needs for love, empathy, safety, or belonging were not met consistently, we may have absorbed powerful conclusions:

  • I’m not lovable
  • I’m not good enough
  • I can’t trust people
  • I’ll always be hurt again

At a young age, we don’t question these messages. We internalize them as facts. Over time, they become part of our psychological operating system.

Ironically, these assumptions shape behaviors that create the very outcomes we fear. As Wayne Dyer observed:

“How you see people is how you treat them, and how you treat them is what they become.”

Similarly, Eric Berne wrote in Games People Play that we often behave in ways that encourage others to respond in ways that confirm what we already believe about them — or ourselves.

In other words, we sometimes create the very evidence that proves our assumptions right.


When Believing Becomes Seeing

We often say “seeing is believing.” But psychologically, the opposite is often closer to the truth:

Believing is seeing.

Our beliefs, expectations, and emotional history filter the world around us. They shape what we notice, how we interpret events, and how we respond.

As Tony Robbins put it:

“The mind sees what the heart feels.”

In this sense, our lives are not simply things that happen to us — they happen through us.


A Question Worth Pausing For

Before going further, it may be worth asking ourselves a simple question:

Where in my life might I be seeing someone through a story I created about them?

A colleague.
A partner.
A family member.
Perhaps even ourselves.

Sometimes the greatest shift begins not with changing another person — but by becoming curious about the lens through which we are seeing them.


A Moment from Coaching

In my coaching work with managers and leaders, I often begin with a simple question:

“What’s going on?”

The answers are usually immediate and confident:

  • “I am the only one who cares” 
  • “My boss is impossible.
  • My team isn’t motivated.”
  • “The culture here is toxic.”                

    All of those statements may contain truth. But over time, I’ve learned that the first story we tell about a situation is rarely the whole story.

So I ask a second question:

“And how might you be participating in what is happening?”

That question often brings a pause — sometimes a long one.

Interestingly, dreams explore the same territory. In dreamwork, we often encounter figures who appear as critical bosses, threatening strangers, or difficult partners. From a Jungian perspective, these figures may represent disowned or unrecognized parts of our own psyche.

Both coaching conversations and dreamwork invite the same courageous act:

To look inward before we look outward.

When people do that, their capacity for insight, creativity, and leadership expands dramatically.


The Little Robot Inside Us

A wise illustration of this comes from a poem by a ten-year-old girl shared by Denis Waitley in The Psychology of Winning.

My Little Robot

I have this little robot
that is deep inside of me,
I tell it what I am thinking,
I tell it what I see.

I tell this little robot
all my hopes and fears,
It listens and remembers
all my joys and tears.

At first this little robot
was under my command.
But after years of training
it’s gotten out of hand.

It doesn’t matter
what is wrong or right,
or what is false or true.

Now no matter what I say
it tells me what to do.

Over time, the beliefs we repeat begin running automatically. What once served as protection becomes a script quietly directing our lives.


Awareness Changes Everything

Awareness is the foundation of growth.

Without it, we operate on autopilot. Names change. Places change. Relationships change. Yet the patterns often remain the same.

But awareness creates space.

When we notice the assumptions shaping our perceptions, we reclaim the freedom to respond differently. Curiosity replaces certainty. Responsibility replaces blame.

Gradually, the world begins to change — not because reality suddenly became different, but because we are no longer seeing it through the same lens.

In the end, personal growth is less about becoming someone new and more about becoming free from the unseen stories that once defined us.


Reflective Invitation

Here’s something I invite you to consider:

What story might you be telling yourself about someone in your life — and how might your story be shaping who they are and how you relate to them?

If you’re willing to notice it, the lens can shift. New possibilities emerge. And that shift — small though it may seem — can change everything.


 

Breaking the Cycle: Avoiding Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer Roles

Beyond Projection: How Unconscious Defenses Undermine Growth and Relationships

In the last post, we explored projection—the tendency to disown parts of ourselves and see them “out there” in others. In this post, we’ll look at several other common unconscious defense strategies that quietly shape our behavior, strain our relationships, and keep us from growing.

At the heart of all of them is one essential capacity: self-awareness.
Without it, our lives are largely run by automatic reactions. With it, we gain choice, responsibility, and personal authority.


Denial: The Defense That Keeps Us Comfortable—and Stuck

Denial is our ability to refuse to see something about ourselves that feels threatening or painful.

As long as I can deny my role in creating what’s happening around me, I don’t have to change.

Classic denial sounds like:

  • “I’m not controlling—my son would never say that.”

  • “If my coworkers weren’t so negative, I’d perform better.”

  • “It’s her fault.”

  • “I do the drugs; the drugs don’t do me.”

  • “I haven’t missed work, so I’m not an alcoholic.”

A Chinese proverb reminds us why denial ultimately fails:
“It is better to be stung by reality than comforted by an illusion.”

Denial protects us from short-term discomfort, but it blocks long-term growth. Self-awareness begins the moment we ask, “How might I be contributing to this?”

Try this:
When something isn’t working in your life, ask:

  • What part of this situation might I be co-creating?

  • What would I have to feel if I stopped denying my role?


Displacement: When Unfelt Emotions Find a New Target

Displacement occurs when emotions we don’t want to feel—anger, fear, anxiety—get redirected onto safer or more convenient targets.

Example:
You’ve had a brutal day at work. A partner or child asks a simple question, and you snap. The emotion wasn’t caused by them, but it landed there.

Displacement gives momentary relief, but it damages trust and intimacy. What we avoid internally returns externally—often multiplied.

After 9/11, psychologists observed sharp increases in domestic violence, road rage, and public aggression. Unprocessed fear and rage don’t disappear; they leak out sideways.

Another proverb offers a practical alternative:
“An act of patience in place of anger prevents one hundred hours of suffering.”

Try this:
When you feel triggered, pause and ask:

  • What am I really feeling right now?

  • Who or what am I actually reacting to?
    Name the emotion before acting on it.


Unconscious Patterns and the Loss of Personal Authority

Much of our behavior is unconscious—automatic habits formed long ago. Awareness restores choice.

As Carl Jung famously warned:
“What we are unaware of will manifest as fate.”

One of the clearest models of unconscious relational dynamics comes from Eric Berne, described in his book Games People Play.

Berne identified three recurring roles people unconsciously rotate through:

  • Victim

  • Persecutor

  • Rescuer


The Victim Role: “This Shouldn’t Be Happening to Me”

Victim thinking sounds like:

  • “People are unfair.”

  • “If I didn’t have this boss / partner / situation, I’d be happy.”

The hidden payoff is avoiding responsibility. If it’s always someone else’s fault, I don’t have to change.

Reflection questions:

  • Where do I feel powerless or resentful?

  • What might I gain by staying in this position?


The Persecutor Role: “You’re the Problem”

The persecutor externalizes blame:

  • “You’re incompetent.”

  • “You can’t be trusted.”

  • “You deserve this.”

From here, criticism, control, and disrespect feel justified. Often, persecutors were once victims themselves.

Awareness practice:

  • Notice judgments as signals.

  • Ask, What fear or hurt is underneath my anger?


The Rescuer Role: Helping Others Instead of Feeling Ourselves

Rescuers help compulsively, often because their own needs were never fully met. By focusing on others, they avoid their own pain.

Helping becomes unhealthy when:

  • It creates dependency

  • It depletes resources

  • It replaces honest self-care

Reflection:

  • Who would I be if I stopped rescuing?

  • What need of mine remains unmet?


The Cycle—and Its Cost

Many people rotate through all three roles.

In abusive dynamics, someone may feel victimized in one area of life, act as a persecutor in another, and then attempt repair through rescuing. The cycle repeats—often with escalating harm.

Eventually, the cost shows up as burnout, addiction, anxiety, broken relationships, or loss.

Pain becomes the teacher we tried to avoid.


Choosing Awareness Over Blame

Change often begins when the pain of staying the same outweighs the fear of change—but it doesn’t have to take a crisis.

When we accept responsibility for our role in what we are creating, we reclaim personal authority. Relationships soften. Anxiety eases. The need to escape diminishes.

Psychological maturity means being willing to feel discomfort in service of growth.


A More Compassionate Closing Reflection

A working definition of suffering might be: unconsciously recreating the very patterns we say we want to escape.

Growth begins not with self-condemnation, but with curiosity. If you’re willing to question your patterns, you’re already moving toward greater clarity and wholeness.

Reflection question:
Which pattern do you notice most in yourself under stress—denial, blaming, rescuing, or controlling—and what might it be protecting you from feeling?

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Why Smart, Capable Leaders Still Feel Stuck


In a time of AI disruption, economic uncertainty, and shifting identity


There’s a quiet tension I’m seeing more and more among thoughtful, high-performing leaders.

On the surface, things look solid.
Careers are established.
Reputations are intact.
Capabilities are not in question.

And yet—beneath that—there’s a persistent, hard-to-name feeling:

“Why do I feel stuck?”

Not burned out, exactly.
Not failing.
But not moving forward in a way that feels meaningful, either.

This isn’t a personal shortcoming.
It’s a signal. And it makes sense given the moment we’re in.


The Ground Has Shifted (Even If Your Resume Hasn’t)

We’re living through a convergence of forces that are quietly reshaping what it means to lead:

  • AI is redefining value — not just what we do, but what counts as uniquely human contribution
  • Economic uncertainty is making even successful leaders more cautious, more inwardly guarded
  • Traditional career paths are dissolving — the “next step” is no longer obvious or linear

The result?

Leaders who have spent years mastering how to succeed in one game are now being asked—implicitly—to play a different one.

But no one has clearly explained the new rules.


The Old Strategies Stop Working

Most high-capacity leaders respond the way they’ve always succeeded:

  • Think harder
  • Push more
  • Optimize performance
  • Seek clarity through analysis

And for a while, that works… until it doesn’t.

Because this kind of “stuckness” isn’t a strategy problem.
It’s not even primarily a skills problem.

It’s an orientation problem.

You’re trying to solve a future identity question using past performance tools.


The Hidden Layer: Identity, Not Execution

What I see again and again in coaching conversations is this:

The real question underneath “What should I do next?” is often:

  • Who am I becoming now that what used to define me is shifting?
  • What part of me is ready to lead that hasn’t been fully expressed yet?
  • What am I avoiding because I can’t yet see how it “fits” into my current identity?

This is where even very capable leaders can feel disoriented.

Because you can’t spreadsheet your way through identity evolution.


Why This Moment Feels So Unsettling

AI, in particular, is accelerating something deeper than automation.

It’s confronting leaders with uncomfortable questions:

  • If intelligence is no longer my differentiator… what is?
  • If efficiency is handled by systems… where do I create value?
  • If the future is ambiguous… how do I lead with confidence?

These are not tactical questions.

They are developmental questions—and they require a different kind of work.


The Leaders Who Will Thrive

The leaders who navigate this well are not necessarily the smartest or most experienced.

They are the ones willing to:

  • Shift from certainty to curiosity
  • Move from control to awareness
  • Develop the capacity to sit in ambiguity without rushing to premature answers
  • Listen for what is emerging, rather than forcing what has worked before

In other words, they don’t just update their strategy.

They update their way of seeing.


What “Being Stuck” Is Really Asking of You

If you’re feeling stuck right now, it may not be a problem to fix.

It may be an invitation.

An invitation to:

  • Re-examine the assumptions that have guided your success
  • Notice where you’re over-relying on competence instead of presence
  • Pay attention to the quieter signals—energy, resistance, curiosity
  • Create space to think in a different way, not just think more

This is not about abandoning ambition.

It’s about aligning it with something more current, more alive, and ultimately more sustainable.


A Different Kind of Next Step

Most leaders don’t need more information.

They need a structured space to think—honestly, deeply, and without performance pressure.

A place where they can:

  • Step out of constant execution
  • Hear themselves more clearly
  • Explore what’s shifting beneath the surface
  • Re-engage with direction from a more grounded place

That’s where real movement begins.


Final Thought

Feeling stuck in this moment doesn’t mean you’re behind.

It may mean you’re right on the edge of a more meaningful level of leadership—one that can’t be accessed through force or speed.

But through attention.

And the willingness to engage the question beneath the question.


If this resonates, you’re not alone—and you’re not without options. The work now is different than it was before. And done well, it leads not just to better decisions, but to a more coherent and compelling way of leading in a time that demands it.

Why Smart, Capable Leaders Still Feel Stuck

In a time of AI disruption, economic uncertainty, and shifting identity


Many of the leaders I speak with lately aren’t struggling in the ways you might expect.

They’re succeeding.
They’re respected.
They’re doing objectively well.

And still—something feels off.

A subtle friction. A lack of clarity. A sense that forward movement isn’t as available as it once was.

The question that emerges is often quiet, but persistent:

“Why do I feel stuck?”


The Ground Has Shifted (Even If Your Resume Hasn’t)

We’re living through a convergence of forces that are quietly reshaping what it means to lead:

  • AI is redefining value — not just what we do, but what counts as uniquely human contribution
  • Economic uncertainty is creating a background level of caution, even among high performers
  • Traditional career paths are dissolving — the “next step” is no longer obvious or linear

The result?

Leaders who have spent years mastering how to succeed in one game are now being asked—implicitly—to play a different one.

But no one has clearly explained the new rules.


When Capability Stops Translating Into Momentum

A VP I worked with had just been promoted into a larger, more visible role.

On paper, it was a clear step forward.
In practice, something unexpected happened.

He found himself hesitating on decisions he would have made easily six months prior.
Delaying conversations.
Overthinking relatively straightforward calls.

Nothing dramatic. But enough that he noticed:

“I’ve never operated like this before.”

What was happening wasn’t a loss of capability.

It was that the context had changed—and the internal orientation that had driven his success hadn’t caught up yet.


The Old Strategies Stop Working

Most high-capacity leaders respond the way they’ve always succeeded:

  • Think harder
  • Push more
  • Optimize performance
  • Seek clarity through analysis

And for a while, that works… until it doesn’t.

Because this kind of “stuckness” isn’t a strategy problem.
It’s not even primarily a skills problem.

It’s an orientation problem.

You’re trying to solve a future identity question using past performance tools.


The Hidden Layer: Identity, Not Execution

Another leader—a founder navigating what should have been an exciting growth phase—put it this way:

“Everything is working… and I feel strangely disconnected from it.”

Revenue was up.
The team was solid.
Externally, there was no issue to fix.

But internally, there was a growing sense that the way he had been leading no longer fit the scale or complexity of what he had built.

He didn’t need better strategy.

He needed space to examine a more difficult question:

Who do I need to become to lead what this is now?


Why This Moment Feels So Unsettling

AI, in particular, is accelerating something deeper than automation.

It’s confronting leaders with uncomfortable questions:

  • If intelligence is no longer my differentiator… what is?
  • If efficiency is handled by systems… where do I create value?
  • If the future is ambiguous… how do I lead with confidence?

These are not tactical questions.

They are developmental questions—and they require a different kind of work.


The Leaders Who Will Thrive

The leaders who navigate this well are not necessarily the smartest or most experienced.

They are the ones willing to:

  • Shift from certainty to curiosity
  • Move from control to awareness
  • Develop the capacity to sit in ambiguity without rushing to premature answers
  • Listen for what is emerging, rather than forcing what has worked before

In other words, they don’t just update their strategy.

They update their way of seeing.


What “Being Stuck” Is Really Asking of You

If you’re feeling stuck right now, it may not be a problem to fix.

It may be an invitation.

An invitation to:

  • Re-examine the assumptions that have guided your success
  • Notice where you’re over-relying on competence instead of presence
  • Pay attention to the quieter signals—energy, resistance, curiosity
  • Create space to think in a different way, not just think more

This is not about abandoning ambition.

It’s about aligning it with something more current, more alive, and ultimately more sustainable.


A Different Kind of Next Step

Most leaders don’t need more information.

They need a structured space to think—honestly, deeply, and without performance pressure.

A place where they can:

  • Step out of constant execution
  • Hear themselves more clearly
  • Explore what’s shifting beneath the surface
  • Re-engage with direction from a more grounded place

That’s where real movement begins.


Final Thought

Feeling stuck in this moment doesn’t mean you’re behind.

It may mean you’re right on the edge of a more meaningful level of leadership—one that can’t be accessed through force or speed, but through attention.

And the willingness to engage the question beneath the question.


If This Is You

If you’re a leader who is:

  • Performing well—but sensing something needs to shift
  • Clear on how to execute—but less clear on what’s next
  • Aware that the challenge is deeper than tactics

I offer focused Clarity Intensives designed for exactly this kind of moment.

These are not open-ended coaching engagements.

They are structured, high-quality conversations that create the space to step back, think clearly, and reconnect with a direction that actually fits who you are now.

If that would be useful, you’re welcome to reach out or start a conversation.

When Leaders Get Triggered: The Domino Effect of Hidden Emotional Patterns by Peter Metzner

 

When the Dominoes Fall: How Hidden Triggers Shape Our Relationships and Leadership

A senior executive once told me he was close to losing his job.

Not because he lacked intelligence, competence, or drive. By every traditional measure, he was successful. Yet his colleagues experienced him as intimidating, impatient, and sometimes openly hostile. Even minor disagreements could trigger strong reactions. Morale on his team was deteriorating, and senior leadership had begun to notice.

Around that time, he had a dream.

He saw a long line of dominoes standing upright. One tipped into the next, and then another, until the entire line collapsed in a rapid chain reaction.

The dream stayed with him.

As we explored the image together, its meaning slowly emerged. The events of his life had also fallen like dominoes.

He had grown up with a father who was physically abusive. His older brother and others often bullied him. For years he felt small, vulnerable, and powerless.

Then one summer during adolescence something changed. He had a sudden growth spurt, began lifting weights, and became physically strong. In that moment he made a powerful inner decision:

“No one is ever going to mess with me again.”

Another domino fell.

From that point forward, he became the aggressor. What had once been a survival strategy—protecting himself from humiliation and harm—was now shaping how he responded to colleagues decades later. Even ordinary disagreement could trigger aggressive reactions.

His nervous system was reacting as if he were still that vulnerable boy.

The dream of the dominoes revealed something important: his behavior had a history.

Once he could see the pattern, something shifted. Instead of defending his reactions, he became curious about them. Over time, colleagues began to notice a different leader emerging—more patient, more thoughtful, even good-humored.

In many ways, he was becoming the person he had been before the pain shaped his defenses.


Dreams as Messages from the Unconscious

The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung believed that dreams are one of the psyche’s most powerful ways of communicating with us. When we are caught in patterns we cannot easily see, the unconscious often speaks through images and metaphors.

Dreams rarely explain themselves logically. Instead, they present us with pictures that illuminate something hidden.

In this case, the image of falling dominoes captured a chain reaction linking early experiences of fear and humiliation to present-day leadership behavior. What once helped this executive survive had gradually hardened into a pattern that was now creating problems in his relationships.

Dreams often invite us to become conscious of what has been unconsciously shaping our lives.


When We Are Triggered

Modern neuroscience offers another lens for understanding these patterns.

When we perceive threat—whether physical or emotional—the brain’s alarm system, the amygdala, activates our ancient survival response: fight, flight, or freeze. Psychologist Daniel Goleman called this an “amygdala hijack.”

In these moments our reflective thinking brain temporarily steps aside. Instead of responding thoughtfully, we react automatically.

We may:

  • Fight: criticize, attack, control, or become defensive
  • Flight: withdraw, avoid, or disengage
  • Freeze: shut down or become passive

These reactions once protected us from physical danger. But in modern relationships—especially in workplaces—they often escalate conflict rather than resolve it.

Adding another layer, human beings are wired for emotional contagion. Through tone, posture, and facial expression, our nervous systems influence each other. The tension carried by one person can quickly spread throughout a room or an entire team.

Before long, everyone is operating from their “danger zones.”


The Stories We Tell About Others

When we are emotionally triggered, we often begin constructing stories about the other person.

They are too controlling.
Too passive.
Too demanding.
Too sensitive.

Soon the conclusion becomes: “They are the reason I feel this way.”

Psychiatrist Eric Berne described these recurring relational patterns as “the games people play.”

Once we assign someone a role in our mental script, our minds begin filtering reality. We notice the behaviors that confirm our beliefs and overlook those that contradict them.

Ironically, we may even provoke the behaviors we dislike.

If we believe people take advantage of us, we may become overly accommodating.
If we believe people cannot be trusted, our guardedness may cause others to become guarded in return.

We then point to the evidence and say:

“See? I knew it.”

In this way our perceptions quietly shape the reality we experience.


Why Judgment Feels So Good

Why is it so easy to judge others and blame them for our distress?

Because judgment protects us from something more uncomfortable: our own vulnerability.

Researcher Brené Brown has shown that when we feel shame or emotional exposure, we instinctively move into self-protection—blaming, criticizing, or distancing ourselves from others.

Blame can feel powerful in the moment. But it also shuts down curiosity, empathy, and learning.

Jungian analyst John A. Sanford once observed a paradox:

When we judge others, we often become like them.

The qualities we condemn in others can quietly take root within ourselves.


The Leadership Opportunity

These dynamics become especially powerful in leadership.

Leaders influence not only strategy and decisions but also the emotional climate of the systems around them. When leaders operate from anxiety, defensiveness, or anger, those emotions ripple outward through the organization.

Teams become cautious. Creativity declines. People stop speaking openly.

But leaders who develop awareness of their triggers create something very different: environments where people feel respected, heard, and psychologically safe.

Often the turning point begins with a simple question:

What is being triggered in me right now?

That moment of reflection can interrupt the domino chain reaction.


Freeing Others from Our Stories

Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle writes:

“Most often we equate what appears to be with the truth. We can imprison others in our ideas about them—or we can free them by truly seeing who they are.”

When we become aware of the stories we are telling about others, we regain a measure of freedom.

Instead of reacting automatically, we can pause, become curious, and respond more consciously.

This process is not always comfortable. As Carl Jung wrote:

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain.”

Yet this discomfort is often the doorway to deeper relationships, wiser leadership, and personal growth.


A Few Questions for Reflection

You might take a moment to reflect:

  • What situations tend to trigger strong emotional reactions in me?
  • What earlier experiences might be part of that “domino chain”?
  • What story might I be telling about someone that could benefit from curiosity rather than certainty?

Sometimes the most important leadership work we do is not changing others.

It is becoming more aware of the dominoes within ourselves.


 

Transformative Growth: Navigating Change and Control

Change Isn’t the Problem—Losing Control Is

If change were easy, self-help books would be unnecessary, therapists would be bored, and most of us would have quit our bad habits years ago.

The real problem isn’t change. It’s control—or more precisely, the terror of losing it. We cling to beliefs, identities, and stories not because they are true, but because they are familiar. As Immanuel Kant warned in his critique of dogmatism, moral certainty is the enemy of truth. Certainty feels comforting… right up until it starts costing us our relationships, health, and vitality.

“People don’t fear change; they fear losing a sense of control.”
— T. Napier

We like to say we want truth, growth, and freedom. But when truth knocks on the door, it often shows up holding a mirror—and suddenly we’re not so sure.

“The truth will set you free,” yes—but first it may bruise your ego, challenge cherished beliefs, and disrupt the story you’ve been telling yourself for years. When we cling too tightly to being right, we close ourselves off from reflection, humility, and learning.

Black-and-white thinking, rigid beliefs, and the need for certainty can temporarily reduce anxiety, but they also keep us from ambiguity, curiosity, and the mystery of life itself—a theme echoed often by James Hollis.

Why Growth Is So Hard

One of the main reasons we resist growth is simple: it hurts.

The ancient Greeks understood this well. Aeschylus wrote that through suffering comes wisdom. Without suffering, we risk remaining unconscious, infantile, and dependent.

Yet much of modern life is organized around avoiding suffering altogether. Many of our addictions, ideological attachments, and neuroses are elaborate escape routes—detours away from pain rather than pathways through it (Hollis).

Some sobering realities:

  • Roughly one in four North Americans identify with fundamentalist belief systems that promise certainty and simplicity.

  • Between 25–50% struggle with some form of addiction.

  • Many of the rest of us choose neurosis—not because we are broken, but because defending against life’s wounds can feel safer than engaging them.

The Cost of Avoidance

Taking ownership of our lives requires intention, courage, and strength. It means claiming personal authority rather than outsourcing responsibility to leaders, ideologies, partners, or circumstances.

Growth follows a recognizable arc—often described as the Four Stages of Change:

  1. Unconscious Incompetence – We don’t know what we don’t know.

  2. Conscious Incompetence – Awareness dawns…and it’s uncomfortable.

  3. Conscious Competence – New behaviors are practiced intentionally.

  4. Unconscious Competence – Growth becomes embodied and natural.

As Carl Jung observed, “What we are unaware of manifests itself as fate.” Or, as Hollis puts it more bluntly: what we’re unaware of eats our lunch.

The Shadow at Work

The traits we repress, deny, or hide—our shadow—do not disappear. They leak out sideways, often sabotaging the very success, intimacy, or peace we say we want. What we cannot see in ourselves, we project onto others.

Different cast. Same play.

The names change. The locations change. The relationships change. But the themes repeat—until we take responsibility for the role we are playing.

This is what Jung meant when he said healing the world begins with inner work. When asked if there was hope for humanity, he replied: Yes—if enough people do their inner work.

The “Doozy” Stage: Conscious Incompetence

Stage Two is where many people finally wake up—often after a failed relationship, job loss, health scare, or family crisis.

“When the pain of not changing becomes greater than the pain of changing, change occurs.”

My hope is that reading this helps you arrive here before life forces the issue.

As a coach, I cannot work with anyone unwilling to examine their own role in the situation they are unhappy with. Growth is impossible if responsibility is always outsourced. Ironically, those who need coaching or therapy the most often resist it most strongly.

It is like throwing hand grenades and then complaining about all the explosions.

If you are thinking, “This might be me,” congratulations—that is awareness knocking.

Humility: The Unsung Hero

Shame and guilt can either immobilize us or initiate repair. When connected to responsibility and right action, they become catalysts for growth.

Across wisdom traditions, humility is foundational. Confucius called it the solid foundation of all virtues. Humility detoxifies the inflated ego and opens the door to wisdom. It allows us to be honest with ourselves—and therefore more compassionate toward others.

Addiction, Avoidance, and the Cost of Numbing

Addictions—whether to substances, work, screens, sex, or distraction—are often attempts to manage anxiety. They work briefly, then demand more, leaving wreckage in their wake: strained relationships, depleted health, stalled careers, and deepened despair.

An addiction is simply anything you cannot stop doing—even when it is costing you your life force.

The Turning Point

Here is the good news: insight changes everything.

When we understand why we repeat self-defeating patterns, we regain choice. Pain becomes information. Suffering becomes a teacher rather than a jailer.

What we resist persists.
What we face with courage becomes manageable.

Stage Three: Conscious Competence

If you are still reading—well done. This is where transformation becomes practical.

At this stage, you begin trying new behaviors intentionally. You accept yourself—warts and all. With self-acceptance comes healthier boundaries, deeper relationships, and less judgment toward others.

When you truly respect yourself, you no longer tolerate disrespect. You stop needing to be right and start wanting to be real. Empathy replaces defensiveness. Over 90% of conflict would dissolve if we listened more and argued less.

Stage Four: Unconscious Competence

Think of learning to drive. At first it is awkward and nerve-wracking. Eventually, it becomes second nature.

Most of life is habit. Since we are going to be ruled by habits anyway, why not choose better ones?

With intention and consistency, new ways of being become automatic. Forgiveness frees us—not because it excuses harm, but because it releases us from being defined by it. Sometimes loving someone means finding the right distance—even if that distance is far away.

The Call of the Hero

One of the hardest—and most sacred—tasks in life is discovering what is right for you and having the courage to pursue it. As Jung reminded us, this summons cannot be ignored without cost.

Each of us is on a hero’s journey—a truth articulated beautifully by Joseph Campbell. When we refuse the call, life grows smaller. When we answer it, we reclaim our authority, our meaning, and our capacity to live fully.

The world does not need more certainty.
It needs more conscious, humble, self-aware humans willing to do the work.

And yes—once you begin, there is no turning back.

From Ego to Awareness: A Leadership Journey

 

Ego, Awareness, and the Call to Conscious Leadership

Leadership today is not failing because leaders lack intelligence or skill.
It is failing because ego development has not kept pace with complexity.

To understand this, we must first understand the ego.


What Is the Ego — and Why Does It Matter?

The ego is our constructed identity—our sense of “I.” The word ego comes from Latin, meaning exactly that: I. According to Sigmund Freud, the ego has two primary needs:

  • To be right
  • To defend itself

Its major drives, as Freud understood them, were sex and aggression—a theory shaped by the male-centric lens of his era. When healthy, the ego mediates these drives productively: sexuality expressed through intimacy and commitment; aggression channeled into work, leadership, creativity, and achievement. When unhealthy or unconscious, these same drives can manifest as impulsivity, domination, or violence.

In leadership, ego shows up as:

  • Defensiveness when challenged
  • Inability to receive feedback
  • Needing to “win” rather than learn
  • Confusing authority with superiority

Reflection:
Where do you notice the ego most strongly influencing your leadership behavior?


Beyond Survival: Meaning, Belonging, and Purpose

Psychologists after Freud recognized that human beings are not driven by survival alone. Viktor Frankl observed that meaning—not pleasure or power—is our deepest motivation. Abraham Maslow and Rollo May described a developmental progression:

  • When safety and security are met, belonging and affiliation become central
  • When belonging is secured, the need for meaning, purpose, and individuation emerges

In organizations, burnout often signals not a workload problem—but a meaning problem.

Reflection:
What gives your work meaning right now—and what quietly drains it?


From Ego to Awareness: Three Stages of Leadership Development

To understand leadership maturity, it helps to look at stages of ego development:

1. Egocentric — “It’s all about me.”

At this stage, leadership is self-focused. Decisions revolve around personal success, image, and control.

2. Ethnocentric — “It’s about us.”

Here, leaders identify strongly with their group: team, organization, ideology, or nation. Loyalty and belonging are powerful—but often come with “us vs. them” thinking.

3. Worldcentric — “I care about all of us.”

This stage reflects a broader identity. Leaders consider the impact of decisions on all stakeholders and future generations.

Ken Wilber suggests that roughly 70% of adults operate primarily at the ethnocentric stage.

Reflection:

Where do you see organizations—or yourself—getting stuck?


The Cost of Separation in Leadership

At the core of ego is the belief that we are separate. This illusion has profound consequences.

Albert Einstein wrote:

“The experience of ourselves as something separate from the rest is a kind of optical delusion of consciousness.”

When leaders operate from this illusion, competition replaces collaboration, control replaces trust, and short-term gain overrides long-term responsibility.

Eckhart Tolle adds:

“The ego’s greatest fear is the truth.”

That truth is our interdependence.

Reflection:
Where does “us vs. them” thinking show up in your organization?


Ego Inflation, Expertise, and Power

Modern leadership culture rewards specialization, achievement, and authority—but these can quietly inflate the ego.

Marie-Louise von Franz warned:

“Specialization leads to ego inflation.”

Degrees, titles, success, and expertise can seduce leaders into believing they are better than others. History shows that this sense of superiority—often unconscious—leads to dehumanization and inequity.

Near the end of her life, von Franz cautioned:

“The greatest threat to civilization is ego inflation.”

Reflection:
How do leaders remain humble as competence and authority increase?


The Inner Work of Conscious Leadership

Carl Jung believed the world changes only when individuals do their inner work. Leadership development, then, is not just about skills—but about awareness.

Conscious leadership requires awareness of:

  • Self (triggers, blind spots, defenses)
  • Others (impact, differences, perspectives)
  • Systems (culture, power, incentives)
  • Purpose (why the work matters)

Awareness creates choice.
Ego reacts.
Leaders respond.


Key Takeaways: Why This Matters Now

  • Ego is necessary—but dangerous when unconscious
  • Most leadership failures are developmental, not technical
  • Ethnocentric leadership cannot solve global, systemic problems
  • Awareness must grow alongside intelligence and power
  • The future of leadership depends on inner development

As Albert Einstein famously noted:

“The thinking that got us into this problem will not get us out.”


A Closing Invitation

We are living in a time when technology is accelerating faster than moral and ego development. The pain of not changing is rapidly becoming greater than the fear of change.

There is hope.

If enough individuals—and especially leaders—develop toward a world centric orientation, guided by conscience rather than ego, we can meet this moment.

You will find your leadership at the intersection of the world’s needs and your gifts.

Listen to your heart.

— Peter Metzner


 

Breaking Free from Materialism: A Path to True Fulfillment

We Are Living in a Material World

— Madonna

We live in a culture that quietly—and relentlessly—conditions us to believe that happiness exists outside ourselves.

Society, and especially the media, trains us to look outward for fulfillment. We are encouraged to believe that the next purchase, achievement, relationship, or experience will finally bring peace, satisfaction, or a sense of “enough.”

The Promise of External Solutions

Consider the onslaught of television commercials many adults are exposed to each evening. There are pills for aches and pains, acid reflux, arthritis, depression, sexual dysfunction, insomnia—the list goes on. The implicit message is simple and seductive:

There is a solution for every discomfort, and it can be bought.

Add to this the marketing of clothes, cosmetics, cars, technology, and luxury vacations—each presented as a gateway to happiness. Advertising is classical conditioning at its most refined. When we see something repeatedly—true or not—we begin to internalize it.

What makes this especially potent is the state we are in while consuming media. When relaxed, tired, or semi-meditative (as many of us are while watching television), the mind becomes more receptive. Messages slip past critical awareness and take root.

As Eckhart Tolle observes:

“If something outside yourself is the reason you are happy, then you are hostage to it.”

Why More Is Never Enough

In 25 years of coaching, training, and teaching psychology, I have found no meaningful evidence that material wealth alone produces lasting happiness.

When people are already relatively content, financial security and material comfort can enhance well-being. But when people are unhappy, anxious, or disconnected, they often become what some traditions call hungry ghosts—always consuming, always searching, never satisfied.

Having more does not make an unhappy person happy.

No amount of money, success, distraction, or stimulation can compensate for a lack of meaning, low self-worth, chronic anxiety, or emotional disconnection.

What Actually Creates Fulfillment

Happiness is not something we pursue directly. It is a by-product.

It arises when we experience:

  • Meaning and purpose

  • Nourishing relationships

  • A sense of contribution

  • Alignment with our values

  • Feeling connected to something larger than ourselves

Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson emphasized that psychological maturity requires a sense of contribution—of leaving the world better than we found it.

This does not mean rejecting ambition, comfort, or success. Wanting financial security, meaningful work, or travel is not a problem. The issue arises when these become substitutes for inner development.

As Jungian analyst Marion Woodman taught, maturity and mental health grow out of self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and responsibility for one’s inner life. When we learn to accept ourselves, we become capable of accepting others.

True affluence, in the fullest sense, is knowing what matters—and organizing our lives around it.


Living Through the Lens of the Past

Imagine the days before digital photography. You drop off a roll of film and later receive a strip of negatives. Now imagine holding two negatives on top of each other.

The image becomes blurred. One picture obstructs the other.

This is how many of us experience the present. We unconsciously view current situations through the lens of past experiences—especially early ones. What happened then colors how we perceive what is happening now.

If early relationships were marked by inconsistency, neglect, criticism, or abandonment, those experiences can become the template through which later relationships are interpreted.

Without realizing it, we transfer emotions, expectations, and relational dynamics from the past onto present circumstances.

The mind operates like an analog computer—constantly scanning its database for familiar threats, hurts, and fears. When it finds a match, it reacts automatically.

Awareness Creates Choice

When this process remains unconscious, we live on psychological autopilot. We repeat familiar patterns and often believe our suffering is caused entirely by external circumstances.

Victim consciousness is one expression of this dynamic.

As relationship psychologist Harville Hendrix famously said:

“Everywhere I go and everywhere I may be, I see mommy and daddy—and they see me.”

When we remain unaware, we tend to recreate in adult relationships the same emotional dynamics we experienced in our family of origin. We may change partners, jobs, or locations—yet the patterns persist.

As many people discover painfully: just because you have a different partner doesn’t mean you’ve learned a different dance.


The Stories We Made Up About Ourselves

Many of us carry emotionally charged core beliefs formed early in life—often before we had the capacity to question them.

These beliefs function like a thermostat setting, regulating what we expect, tolerate, and recreate.

Common core beliefs include:

  • I am not lovable

  • I am not good enough

  • I can’t trust people

  • I must be perfect to be accepted

  • I don’t deserve success or ease

These beliefs were not chosen consciously. As children, we were developmentally egocentric—meaning we assumed events happened because of us. If a parent withdrew, drank, raged, or left, we often concluded: It must be me.

Over time, these assumptions became embedded in identity and shaped how we engaged the world.

As Tony Robbins says,

“The mind sees what the heart feels.”

And psychiatrist Eric Berne observed,

“We act in ways that make others behave so as to justify how we feel.”

Unchallenged, these beliefs create a convincing illusion of reality—one we then defend, resist, and reinforce.

As Carl Jung warned:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”


What To Do About It

The work begins with awareness.

Notice—without judgment—how old stories may be playing out in your relationships, career, and emotional life. Observe your patterns like a curious scientist rather than a harsh critic.

Ask yourself:

  • What does fear make me do?

  • What does fear keep me from doing?

  • Where do I see the same emotional patterns repeating?

  • Who might I become without this belief?

When we are calm, self-accepting, and willing to take responsibility, we loosen our grip on outdated narratives. We become less hostage to the past and more available to the present.

If we have been making these stories up unconsciously, we can also revise them consciously.


A Gentle Call to Action

Over the next week, notice one recurring pattern in your life—especially one that brings frustration, disappointment, or longing.

Instead of asking, “Who or what is causing this?”
Try asking, “What might this be showing me about myself?”

Journal. Reflect. Be kind with yourself.

Then ask the deeper questions:

  • Whose life have I been living?

  • What is my soul asking of me now?

  • What small step am I willing to take—today?

This is how we begin living from our true self rather than our conditioned past.

And this is where the real journey begins.